Elapsed Time

Some people was founded travel through time. Most of them are coming from the future. Some of them are just looking around to know the exact thing that is happened in the past. Remembering, doing some trail, or just travelling. But few of them also came to change their past. That's how sometimes we meet with deja vu. The system of universe were changing with their decision. We only got the trace, vague shadow that suddenly passing. We felt that something was happened, but we'll never remember when or where. That's why many people thought it just glimpse of dream. They didn't know, that in the parallel world, what they called dreams or deja vu are actually happened. 

That day, I got a heavy rain. Do you remember the first time you called me fucking coward? You You certainly do not remember, coz it's happened it the other parallel world. But yeah that time. Sorry i never told you about this before, I always thought that it is kinda ... my secret. I walked in the garden next to schoolyard. I remembered, the yellow light, bright. As bright as our fight. Then I heard sound of falling object. It must be very big and heavy, just like the dam collapse. I ran over, wanna know what kind of thing that is falling. 

And I see them. A woman and a kid. They came out from its door. It was kinda capsule. But it's just bigger, then size of hospital waiting room. They saw me. I was so afraid, I couldn't move. But then I saw they're also seen as frighten as me. It made me lil bit calmer. I came to them. We saw each other just like ... do you rememberer the first time you bring Annie home? We saw each other just the same way you and Annie looked at each other. Interested, full of curiousity, with a lil bit fear. 

They told me their story. How their engine stalled in their journey. I didn't know what to do, but more courious. Yeah but finally i tried to help them. Actually my help isn't much needed. Practically they fixed that thing by themselves, I just made them accompanied. But they're so kind, the offered me a travel trough time. I wanna see myself in the future, what will I be. But they said that their machine can't bring me to the future, only past. And the woman said to me, "We can give you one trip only, no more."

So after configured my minds. I choose to travel to the time when we have not fought. And they bring me there. I was so happy to find you didn't angry at me at all. Then they left me. No problem, I thought. At least, finally I could fix my mistakes. But then, last week. I did it again. Made you dissapointed by my disbelief. You tried to tell me again and again. Tried to comfort me, said that nothing happened. But again I thought you're not honest with me. I was angry more. And finally you stop and let me go. 

I was home, and I cant took your words away. I thought and thought. You know, I'm afraid. I'm always thinking that you're perfect. You're the best thing God gives to me. And I am nothing. Worthless. You have your choice to choose any man in this world on your greatness. But you chose me. I felt kinda... I didn't deserve that. Who am I actually. That's why I always try to show me incredible in front, show how great I am, I am the flawless one. But finally I knew, I just tried to cover myself. 

Right now, I don't have any chance to travel back in time anymore. All I can do is ... Sorry! I take whatever you wanna do to me, whatever you wanna say. But if I still have a chance to be together with you, I just build ad ark for us travelling future together. It's not perfect, not good at all. But it's all I can do. I promise to shape this ark, polish it better and better for next time. But it is your right, it's up to you now. Do you want to travel with me to the future. My ship is in front of your door, equipped with a radio that continues to play La Vie En Rose, our song.